#87 Street Fighter (Wes)

#87 Street Fighter

As I’ve said before, movies based on videogames are invariably awful. I can only think of a couple that are actually any good (Silent Hill and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time), and even those can hardly be said to be classics. So you can imagine my trepidation at approaching Street Fighter. A film that isn’t only based on a videogame, but also stars Jean Claude Van Damme, and was the second film on our list that I’ve actively avoided since its release.

Drug lord General M. Bison (Raul Julia) has captured several dozen humanitarian workers in the country of Shadaloo. He demands that Colonel William F. Guile (Jean Claude Van Damme), head of the Allied Nations military force, secures a $20 billion ransom, otherwise he’ll execute them. Guile and his team (including Kylie Minogue as Cammy), must infiltrate Bison’s stronghold and try to rescue the hostages. They are aided in this by con artists Ryu (Byron Mann) and Ken (Damian Chapa), news reporter Chun-Li (Ming-Na Wen), sumo wrestler E. Honda (Peter Tuiasosopo) and boxer Balrog (Grand L. Bush), who all hold their own personal grudges against Bison or his friend, crime boss, Viktor Sagat (Wes Studi).

At this point I’m pretty sure you are thinking exactly what I was whilst watching the movie… This film ACTUALLY HAS A PLOT! Ok, it’s as bad as the Shadaloo Tong tattoos (which look like they've been drawn on with a Sharpie), but it does actually exist. Since it’s the case that even games with brilliant stories get made into awful, plot free movies (most notably Resident Evil), I was shocked that a game that is 30 seconds of beating someone up actually manages to have a coherent story. Luckily this movie was made before Paul WS Anderson began making videogame adaptions, or we probably would have had to watch 204 short fights.

As for the fights in this movie, they are actually entertaining. There were only two things about them that disappointed me. Firstly nobody has the special powers that they have in the games (although M Bison does have a suit that allows him to levitate and shoot electricity from his fingers) and secondly Jean Claude Van Damme doesn’t do the splits! I didn’t think such a thing was possible. He seems to love doing them so much that I thought he would have even sneaked one in even if it wasn’t scripted.

Jean Claude Van Damme never was the greatest actor, so it’s no surprise that he isn’t particularly good in this movie. The same goes for Kylie Minogue, and pretty much everyone else in this movie other than Raul Julia. However, the funniest of the bad acting without a doubt goes to Andrew Bryniarski as Zangief. His facial expressions when he’s standing behind M Bison are hilarious. I’m not sure what he was trying to achieve, but he looks like he has the worst case of trapped wind ever. His eyes bulge and his cheeks puff out like he’s trying desperately to squeeze out a Boston cheer.

Unfortunately this was Raul Julia’s last feature film (his last actual role being in a TV movie – Down Came a Blackbird), before he died of a stroke. He was ill during the filming and reportedly made this movie for his children (who were fans of the game). I’m very thankful that he was in this movie, as he is absolutely brilliant as M. Bison. He is so over the top that you can’t help but love him in this. He actually equals Alan Rickman as The Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves as being one of the most entertainingly insane bad guys ever.

Of course the fact that he was a tall man helps him look like quite imposing, even if he has to wear the most ridiculous red military uniform (complete with cape). He uses his height to great effect, looming over Chun Li at one point, you believe that he could be a credible threat. Of course being taller than people wouldn't make him a great villian, so he has to prove how brilliantly nutty he is in other ways. He starts off by snapping peoples necks, and then steadily moves to experimenting on hostages to create a genetic soldier (Blanka, played by Robert Mammone) and shooting mines at Allied Nations boats using an arcade game style console, complete with a joystick and six buttons (just like the original Street Fighter arcade cabinet).

Blanka is made in some strange Clockwork Orange type experiment by Dr Dhalsam (Roshan Seth). Pumping him full of  bright green DNA mutagen, and showing him violent images of war and torture, pretty much like drinking limeade and looking at Facebook on a Saturday night when everyone is drunk. However Dhalsam shows him some pictures of babies and fluffy kittens, to stop him being completely evil (ok, actually it’s pictures of Martin Luther King Jr and some weddings, but you just don't see as many of them on Facebook).

Written and directed by Steven E de Souza, who also wrote Die Hard and 48 Hrs, you’d think that it at least would have a decent script. Unfortunately he also wrote The Flintstones, Judge Dredd and Beverly Hills Cop 3.

The script is so bad that it’s laughably good. Raul Julia has some hilarious lines, my favourite being “For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday”, which is closely followed by "Why do they still call me a warlord? And mad? All I want to do is to create the perfect genetic soldier. Not for power, not for evil, but for good".

There is no doubt that this movie is terrible, but it’s also fun. I don’t think it deserves its place on the list as I've seen much worse than this, but I’m glad it was as I would have never seen it otherwise. It seems that sometimes you can't just assume a movie will be unwatchable on the sole fact that it stars Jean Claude Van Damme. It’s camp, it’s colourful and it’s definitely worth a watch, if only for Raul Julia’s incredible performance.