#73b Freddy Got Fingered (Wes)

Freddy Got Fingered

The punishment for failing to get hold of a movie continues and unlike last time when we got the joy of another B-Movie, this time we have to put up with a vehicle from one of the most irritating “shock comedians” Canada, or indeed the world, has ever produced… Tom Green. Yes, it had to happen at some point. I had to rewatch Freddie Got Fingered after twelve years of trying to wipe this movie from my memory.

Tom Green plays Gordon Brody, an unsuccessful wannabe 28 year-old cartoonist, who still lives in his parents basement. He moves to Los Angeles where he gets a job in cheese sandwich factory, before he manages to speak to the CEO of an animation studio who tells him that his ideas are stupid. Brody moves back to Portland with his parents (played by Rip Torn and Julie Hagerty), where he continues to be an annoying twat. After his dad destroys his half-pipe and criticizes his wheelchair-bound girlfriend Betty (Marisa Coughlan), Gordon falsely accuses his father of sexually abusing his younger brother Freddy (Eddie Kaye Thomas). Gordon makes a cartoon based on his antics with his father called Zebras in America and sells it for a million dollars, that he then spends on tormenting his father even more. At this point I was left wondering what Saw based torture contraptions I could make with a million dollars to torment Tom Green with for making this claptrap.

I’m sure that everybody reading this review, who has a Facebook account, must know at least one person who constantly posts throughout the day about EVERYTHING that they’re doing. You know the ones… they change their profile and cover pictures daily (if not more often), they let you know the minutiae of every single part of their day just to ensure that you see them on your timeline at least once every time you check in. You know when they’ve been to the gym, what they’ve had for dinner, what they think of the latest TV show, movie, or game, what song they're listening to and what dramatic event has just happened in their lives (usually not dramatic at all, but they'll make out it is). They’ll constantly post any old shit just so that they’ll be noticed in a desperate attention-seeking attempt in the hope that somebody will pay them some attention so they can feel important about themselves. Well Tom Green is the actor equivalent of those nauseating attention whores.

I have to admit that I actually enjoyed his performance in Road Trip. Sure it was the usual puerile shouting that he does so often, but under another director he’s made to play a character and do what the script requires. Unfortunately when he directs himself, then I think his ego takes over and he just does whatever juvenile crap he thinks will appeal to people who’re too wasted to realise what utter junk they’re watching, because seriously, you’d have to be on some hardcore drugs to find this movie funny.

Whether it’s wanking off an elephant, climbing inside a dead deer, drinking milk straight from a cows udder or standing on conveyer belt shouting and waving his arms around, absolutely none of Greens antics are in the least bit funny. Green seems to be under the impression that pushing the boundaries of taste are hilarious, unfortunately he’s under the same misgivings as Vince Offer in An Underground Comedy Movie and has forgotten to add any actual humour to his film. What may have worked in his MTV show, doesn’t translate well onto the big screen, instead it just comes across as a bunch of unrelated scenes that don’t make any sort of coherent story.

The support cast are actually ok. Rip Torn as his outraged father puts in a good performance, which brings this movie out of the depths of badness slightly. His angry ranting at Green is quite funny at times, especially when he is drunkenly and sarcastically shouting at Freddy to fuck him. Marisa Coughlan is sweet as Betty, even if her most of her role seems to be that of someone that just wants to suck Tom Greens cock. Unfortunately their performances get bogged down under Tom Greens relentless shouting, and they struggle to compete with his chronic need to be the person you should be paying attention to.

Ultimately if you like Green’s brand of attention seeking you’ll probably love this movie, however this has been done so many times before, by much more talented people. If you really want to see how boundaries in taste can be pushed, and yet still remain a pretty good film, then I recommend looking back to the 70s and watching John Waters’ movie Pink Flamingos. I now have the task of forgetting this awful movie all over again. Unfortunately my brain doesn’t have the hide feature of Facebook, so every time I see Tom Green’s face then I fear it’ll all come flooding back to me once again.