Who’s Your Caddy
This list is bringing
up a lot of movies I’ve never heard of before and this next movie was no
exception. I could tell from the pun-tastic title that it was a golf movie, and
probably a golf comedy (although on this list, that word has no meaning), but
apart from that I knew nothing about it. Would I come to regret changing that
fact? I hoped I wouldn’t, but we’re so far into this list now I knew it would
be inevitable. So I decided to pose myself a different question. Would Who’s
Your Caddy be the worst thing to ever happen to golf, or would John Daly’s
fashion sense still hold that trophy? That question at least would make this a
tough fight for Who’s Your Caddy to lose…
Hip hop star C-Note
(Big Boi) wants to join the snooty golf club Carolina Pines Golf and Polo Club.
When the clubs chairman Cummings (Jeffery Jones) makes it clear that he isn’t
welcome, C-Note buys the property opposite the club, which contains the 17th
green on its land. Unfortunately for the club the rights for the land end on
the day C-Note buys the property, and he shoots a hip hop video on it,
refusing to allow the club the right to use the land until he is made a member.
Reluctantly Cummings lets him and his entourage into the club, but is
determined to kick him out as soon as he makes the slightest infraction of the
rules. Will Cummings succeed in his plan? Or will C-Note and his friends beat
this racist fuddy-duddy and shake up the golf club? Do I really need to be
posing these questions? I mean it’s not like you can’t guess the ending just by
hearing the slightest thing about it anyway, is it?
I recently read something
along the lines of golf being a game where you win by playing the least amount
of golf possible. To me this sums up the sheer pointlessness of the game. I had
to play golf once for my brother’s stag weekend. It was at The Belfry, and I
hated every minute of it. I had to wear a collared shirt on the course and my
Dad kept trying to make me hurry as I was holding up other people behind us
even though I could only whack the ball a short distance at a time. I thought
the whole place was stuck up its own self important arse, and if it was anyone
but my brothers stag weekend I would have politely declined the invitation in
the first place. But as much as I hated playing golf, it was nothing compared
to sitting through this movie.
If you read my
Crossover review (see here), you’d know that of the very few sports movies that
I actually like, two of them are actually golf based (Happy Gilmore and
Caddyshack). I think a lot of this is due to how open golf is to mockery, so it can be a great setting for a comedy if it's handled with skill. With
a history of not just racism, but of misogyny and class prejudice too, who
doesn’t want to see it taken down several pegs.
Unfortunately director (and co-writer) Don Michael Hall seems to like Caddyshack too. So much so that he decided that writing
his own movie seemed too much like hard work, so just decided to rip off
the whole movie instead. Unfortunately this film suffers not just from being a
badly written rip-off, but the stars are hardly the same comedy calibre of
Rodney Dangerfield, Chevy Chase or Bill Murray. Hell, they couldn't out-act the gopher puppet, so even with a better script it
would have paled in comparison.
The only person in
this movie who had any form of comedy timing, was Bruce Bruce (as Golf Ball
Eddie). Sure most of his jokes are based around his weight, but he’s the only
person in this movie with a likeable personality. Big Boi just comes across as
smug as a Tory frontbencher that’s just watched Soylent Green and has come up
with a solution to save billions of pounds in pension payments and the rest of the cast are as forgettable as Ronald Reagan hosting a seminar on memory loss.
The biggest problem
with this film is that nothing of interest happens in the slightest. You may as
well actually be watching golf it’s that dull. The humour in this movie mostly
consists of farts and nakedness. It actually makes Soul Plane (see here) look
sophisticated. My first tweet during our live tweet-a-long (follow us here and
here) was “20 minutes in and I’ve
thought of nothing funny to say. Which is strange as the writers of this movie
had the same problem”. I could have easily changed that to 80 minutes.
So was this movie more
atrocious than John Daly’s dress sense? Don’t be ridiculous. It was terrible.
So terrible that I think even the Spanish Inquisition would think showing this
movie was a step too far, but Daly often looks like he was dressed in the dark
by a clown and then had his trousers vomited over by a unicorn. This movie
could have possibly worked as a drama rather than a comedy (obviously with
different actors though). Sure it would have likely been one of those movies
that’s broadcast on daytime tv on a weekday, but anything would have been
preferable to this unfunny Caddyshack clone. Happy Gilmore? Crappy Gilmore more
like.
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