#93 Dungeons and Dragons (Wes)

#93 Dungeons and Dragons

“Hey look a Dungeons and Dragons ride!” Upon hearing these words on my TV as a kid I’d be sat down in a flash and glued to my TV for twenty minutes. I absolutely loved this cartoon and having watched it back as an adult recently I still really enjoyed it, so you can imagine my trepidation at approaching this movie. Thankfully this movie contains none of the characters from the classic eighties cartoon, but unfortunately it doesn’t have the magic that made the cartoon work so well either.

Very loosely based on the role playing game, this movie is set in the empire of Izmir where the mages rule and oppress the commoners making them little more than slaves, evil mage Profion (Jeremy Irons) wants to take control of the empire for himself. To do this he creates a sceptre that can control gold dragons, but the dragon he tries it on breaks free from the spell. Defending her role and fighting against his views is Empress Savina (Thora Birch), who wants to free the commoners and stop Profion’s evil schemes. Meanwhile two thieves Ridley (Justin Whalin) and Snails (Marlon Wayans), break into the magic school where they are caught by Marina (Zoe McLellan) who nearly gets killed by Profion’s henchman Damodar (Bruce Payne) but escapes with the two thieves and a map to find the Rod of Savrille (which can control red dragons). What follows is a series of adventures with dwarfs, elves, dragons and Richard O’Brian as our heroes try to find the rod before Profion does and save the empire. I tried rolling a d20 to skip the rest of the movie, but I rolled a 5 and ended up having to watch it twice...

At first you may look at the cast and think there’s some promise there, and I’d completely agree with you. However... Jeremy Irons is usually a great actor, and is no stranger to playing the bad guy (I thought he was brilliant in Die Hard with a Vengeance), but in this movie he’s so acting is so hammy that it’s as if he’s just walked off the set of the McDonalds movie, where he was playing the part of The Hamburglar. Thora Birch is ok, but she seems to be channelling Carrie Fisher playing Princess Leia in Star Wars (perhaps more accurately you could say she’s a lot like Natalie Portman in The Phantom Menace, but with the ability to show a little emotion) and Justin Whalin seems only capable of playing the same role he did in The New Adventures of Superman (Jimmy Olsen).

The worst member of the cast is Marlon Wayans who is just irritating as the unfortunately named Snails. He’s just not funny in this movie, even though he’s meant to be the comic relief. He wouldn’t seem out of place in the 1941 zombie film King of the Zombies. His acting is reminiscent of Mantan Moreland as the scaredy cat Jefferson Jackson, which may have been fine in the 40s, but now comes across as an outdated racial stereotype.

The film also has one of the campest villains since Ming the Merciless last graced the silver screen. Dadomar, who for some reason wears a pale blue lipstick that just adds to his campness, makes Richard O’Brian look as butch as Mad Max. In fact he’s so camp, that he would make the perfect venue for a man in a hockey mask to kill promiscuous teenagers in. His attempts at being menacing had me in stitches, and when Profion infects him with a Wrath of Khan like brain parasite, his pained expressions just look like they belong in an advert for stomach pain relief.

The world itself looks ok, but has a very low budget CGI look to it, compare this to The Fellowship of the Ring and it’s lush surroundings and you can see why this realm of fantasy was quickly forgotten, whilst the slightly later Lord of the Rings movies are still hugely popular. Unfortunately for a movie called Dungeons and DRAGONS even the dragons have a cheap look to them and you can’t help but compare them to the dragons in the movie Reign of Fire who at least looked like they may have belonged on the screen. But worst of all are the terrible backgrounds added behind the actors. Not since the TV show Land of the Giants has something looked so cut out and pasted on in such an unconvincing manner.

The major fault with this movie is that it has a terrible script that rips off so many other movies that you just find yourself wanting to watch them instead. They do this at the expense of neglecting the books and the world which had been built around the game in its 26 years of existence before this movie was released. Which in itself is a strange thing, surely the writers would have been better off trying to make it closer to the role-playing game that this is supposedly based on? After all the people most likely to see this movie would be the thousands of gamers over the world, who all seem to revile this movie.

However this movie does have one redeeming feature that lifts it from mediocrity into the dizzying heights of greatness for a short time. Richard O’Brian plays Xilus. A thief who has a deadly maze that has the ruby “The Eye of the Dragon” hidden in it’s centre. That’s right. Richard O’Brian has a maze! This brilliant parody of his classic gameshow The Crystal Maze is incredible. It’s very much like The Mummy or Raiders of the Lost Ark in its use of peril and humour (it even pretty much copies some of the traps from Raiders), and truly makes this film worth watching, if only for 10 minutes. O’Brian is great too and sends himself up perfectly, I just wish they’d managed to get him playing the harmonica into it somewhere.

The thing about this movie is that everything about it, apart from the maze scene, is wrong, but all of that added together makes it strangely watchable. It’s one of those films that’s just so inept, that watching it becomes a guilty pleasure. Just don’t take this film seriously, and ignore how many other movies it rips off, and you could well enjoy wasting a few hours on a rainy Sunday watching it. Alternatively you could invite some friends round, grab some dice and dust off those old Dungeons and Dragons rulebooks and make an adventure of your own. As for me, I’m going to grab a beer and rewatch some of the old cartoons.

#93 Dungeons and Dragons (2000) (Colin)

In 2001, if you liked your fantasy films then this year was a good year to don your wizards sleeve and to nip down to the cinema. For this was the year of the fantasy blockbusters! (My fantasy Blockbusters involved Bob Holness, Carol Voderman and a padding pool of baked beans, but that's another story).

Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone (2001) was released in this year and brought the magical world of Hogwarts to the big screen.Yes the acting wasn't great and the script a bit clunky, but you could not help being drawn into the charm of this wondrous adventure of the young wizard and his chums.

Later that years Paul Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy began with The Fellowship of The Ring (2001). A simply epic film, literally, which brought Middle Earth to life in a breathtaking and unforgettable way. A beautifully crafted interpretation of Tolkien's world and one of the best films ever made. Unlike the next film, The Two Towers (2002), which I found very boring and involved a 3 hour annoyingly slow journey by tree! This is off course still quicker than any journey by Greater Anglia trains.

This year also saw the release of another fantasy film, under the franchise of the popular Role Play Game of the same name and at #93 Dungeons and Dragons (2000).

For those who have not met me, I do not have a pasty complexion, I am not covered in spots nor do I smell of industrial strength Clearasil and I have seen a grown woman naked. Therefore it will come as no surprise to you that I don't play Role Play Games or RPG for short. (At this point I've just realised I've slagged off most of my friends / readership. Sorry guys, only joshing!). I have therefore never played Dungeons and Dragons but I am, however, a massive fan of the 1980's cartoon and so know a little about this genre.

For me, the cartoon was fantastic, each week mixing hope and despair, darkness and light heartiness, highs and lows. I loved the characters and hoped each week that Hank, Eric and co would make it back home and felt the disappointment when they invariably didn't. (Well except for Uni. She could have been put into a Tesco burger for all I cared. There is only so much 'cute' raspberry blowing My Little Ponyness I can take!). Therefore a film of the same name has to be good. Hasn't it?

Set in the fantasy empire of Izmer, Dungeons and Dragons is a good old fashioned tale of good vs evil. The mages rule over the non magic 'normal' people, originally to protect them, but over the years the regime has become oppressive. The evil Profion, (Jeremy Irons), wants to maintain a vice like grip over the people but faces resistance from a young Mage, the empress Savina, (Thora Birch). Savina believes the normal people should be equal and so must stop Profion. To defeat him, Savina needs to find the rod of Sarville, a sceptre powerful enough to control red dragons, (who are quite high up in the pecking order apparently). 2 thieves unwittingly get dragged into a quest to find the Rod. And so they go on a journey, pursued by Profion's henchman, Dachmar, (Bruce Payne) who will stop them at any cost.

Now I come to summarise the story, it occurs to me that this sounds like a good plot for a fantasy movie, (Although people in charge abusing their powers and oppressing the people they were supposed to look after?  Come on, how far fetched is that.  Hang on a sec.....). Indeed the studio exec must have thought, 'I'll swing by that Ferrari dealership on the way home, I think we've got some kerching coming our way '. When he saw the movie he must have felt like he had bought a Kinder egg and inside the yellow casing was not a fun toy to build but some doggy doo. 'Bollocks' he must have thought as he handed the back the keys to the F50.

Let's start with the fantasy world itself. The CGI in this film looks like it was produced on a Commodore Vic 20. Which was broken. The dragons might as well have been newts with wings glued on. The backgrounds have that blue green tinge around the actors, (even the BBC weather forecast has eliminated that!). And it all looks rather cheap, poorly executed and has a 'TV movie' feel to it.

Then there's the cast. Unfortunately the acting powerhouse that is Tom Arnold is not in this movie, but some lesser talented, but well know actors are. Jeremy Irons, for example, is a household name yet his portrayal of the evil Profion would be OK if he didn't ham it up so much. Blimey, there's less ham in a field of pigs with hamsters crammed into the barn in Birmingham. He gurns and over exaggerates every world, slowing down his sentences just to show us how evil he really is and I'm just thinking why? You're an established actor, why are you trying too hard? Profion? Amateurfion more like.

Bruce Payne, (so close to having a cool name, yet so far), who plays his henchman, Dachmar, is no better. He constantly competes with Irons for the most exaggerated face pull award and looks in dire need of a laxative. Also he wears whitish blue lipstick throughout the whole movie and looks like he'd got frostbite. (Which reminds me of an old Mike Read joke. Eskimo takes his car in to be fixed, the mechanic says, 'blown seal?', the Eskimo wipes his mouth and says 'no it's frostbite'). Mr Frostbite is not helped by a poor script. For example in one scene he tries to sound menacing but says, 'you cannot be serious' McEnroe style!   I missed a good 10 minutes of the film as I struggled to see through my tears of laughter.

But the crowning turd of bad acting ville is Marlon Wayans, who plays Snails and is the sidekick to our 'hero' Ridley Freeborn (Justin Whalin). I've spoken a couple of times about racial stereotypes in previous blogs and our old friend, Wayans, is at it again. This time he plays a stereotypical black shouty stoner dude, whose not very bright. Cue lots of hand gestures, strutting and y'all type speak. Seriously even if this film was meant to be set thousands of years ago, this character would still seem outdated.

A scene which is supposed to be moving and heart wrenching involves Mr Frostbite killing Snails, (I really wished they'd picked a different name), as Freeborn helplessly looks on. Unfortunately Snails' character is so one dimensional and plain annoying, that I actually whooped, did my bestest dance ever and high fived the cat when he met his death. I then thanked the movie for sparing me another minute of this unlikeable, dull character.

Thora Birch as Savina is ok and Tom Baker's cameo is welcome but the real star of this
 movie has to be Richard O'Brien. O'Brien plays Xilus, a thief who Freeborn meets on his quest. Xilus looks after the Guild of Thieves maze. Hang on a second, O'Brien, maze? Yep, we are treated to a 5 minute parody of 'The Crystal Maze' as Freeborn has to go through a series of puzzle games to get a crystal to move on through the maze. Whether or not this was meant as a parody I do not know, but it is absolutely brilliant and without a doubt briefly lifts this out of the mire. Save yourself 100+ minutes of your life and watch this as it is the only bit worth watching. I just wished Xilus had said 'Will you start the fans please!'.  Rumour has it Ed-Tudor Pole will star in the sequel.

Once this piece of gold is over, the film trundles along back on its linear path towards the Rod. And as I am watching the story progress, I had a nagging voice in the back of my head that I have seen all this  before.Sure, it's not an original storyline, but I knew I had never seen this film, so what was it that was so familiar? And then it dawns on me. This film constantly steals from Star Wars.

Empress Savina, reminded me early on in the film of Queen Amidala, with her stupid numerous costume changes. Then, when Savina is confronting Profion in front of the Mage council its similar in tone to when Princess Leia speaks with Grand Moff Tarkin. In fact the Mage council looks very much like the Republic's Senate.

At one point Freeborn, Snails and their party, stop off at a bar. Which has lots of weird looking creatures drinking within. And has a house band playing one song over and over. Sounding familiar? Unfortunately in the special edition, the director has made this film even worse and Snails now shoots his load first.

Hang on, Snails, an offensive stereotypical racist parody of an ethnic group. That's why I hate him so much.  He is Dungeons and Dragon's Jar Jar Sodding Binks!

And now the Star Wars thing is in my mind and as I watched the rest of the film the similiarities grew and grew to a point where I begin to think that this can not be mere coincidence. Fair enough, Star Wars itself is just a retelling of several fantasy stories, but way better and 23 years before this film. Halvarth, (Tom Baker), for example talks of how there is dark and light magic and that this is now an imbalance within the magic. Replace the word magic with the word force and it starts to sound familiar. And that is the overall problem, it's all too familiar.

This was Courtney Soloman's directorial debut and I really wonder if he ever did a second film, (I can not be bothered to look). It took 10 years to get this to production and I really wonder what took 10 years? He certainly did not take time to learn script writing, CGI skills, directing, or having original ideas. The main criticism directed to this film from the gamers is that it really is nothing like Dungeons and Dragons at all and that he has not captured the spirit or the feel of the original game. I can not comment on this as, like I say, I have never played it, but what I can say from my personal experience is that it certainly does not have the imagination, charm or appeal of the 1980's cartoon which I so fondly remember.

#94 Norbit (Wes)

 

#94 Norbit

Give me an 80s Eddie Murphy film and a few beers and I’m happy. Beverly Hills Cop and Trading Places are just brilliant movies and I could happily watch them at any time. Give me a post 80s Eddie Murphy film (with the exception of Bowfinger, Shrek and Shrek 2) and I’ll sit in the corner and cry until you take it away. So you can imagine my displeasure at finding out I had to watch Norbit for this list.

The story of Norbit (Eddie Murphy) starts with a baby being abandoned at a orphanage/ restaurant where he is raised by Mr Wong (Eddie Murphy). At the orphanage he has a childhood love Kate (Thandie Newton) who gets adopted leaving Norbit all alone. When he gets a little older he meets Rasputia (I bet you can’t guess….), who saves him from some bullies and takes him as her boyfriend. They eventually marry and Rasputia gets fatter, meaner, more obnoxious and is generally an unpleasant bully. Kate moves back to town to buy the orphanage, but is engaged to Deion Hughes (Cuba Gooding Jr), which upsets Norbit’s plans to get back with his true love. However Hughes is a conman and the rest of the film plays in a standard will true love win whilst the bad guys get their comeuppance scenario?

 

So has Eddie Murphy made one of those rare films that will make me change my mind about his downward spiral into the depths of the terminally unfunny? Unfortunately not, this movie simply failed to tickle me at all. The only time I laughed in the entire movie was when a duck that Norbit was playing with in the restaurant gets slaughtered and Norbit is given the head to play with. Any film where duck mutilation is the funniest moment is not something that I could recommend to anybody.

The problem with the humour is that it all relies heavily on tired stereotypes. Rastputia’s obesity of course is a major point of humour for her character. As she breaks beds when getting a little over-enthusiastic, Cannonballs down a waterslide, or breaks a seat to fit in a car you just can’t help but start to inspect the fluff from your belly button in an attempt to occupy your brain in a more meaningful manner. The movie makers do their best to demonise her at every moment and you can’t help but compare that to other movies with similar fat jokes that went the other way and showed that just because someone’s not the Hollywood idea of perfection, then it doesn’t mean they’re ugly (eg Shallow Hal). Perhaps if they didn’t have Thandie Newton as his true love then this wouldn’t have seemed so bad, but really they just seem to be sending the message out as fat equals bad, skinny equals good.

Norbit is a sweet character, but really it’s just been done before. Murphy plays him in very much the same way that Adam Sandler played Robert Boucher in The Waterboy. Softly spoken and sticking out his chin slightly (every lazy actors portrayal of somebody who is a little slow). Actually the latter half of the story is slightly similar to Sandler’s The Wedding Singer, but where that film had some moments of pure genius (BILLY IDOL!), this doesn’t.

Murphy’s other role being the racist Mr Wong in this movie is just as deplorable as the fat jokes used for Rasputia. His humour being based around being generally offensive and speaking in pidgin English. He reminded me slightly of Bernard Bresslaw as Fan Choy in One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing. That movie was however made thirty two years before Norbit, at a time when this sort of humour was more accepted, so at least that has an excuse.

Outside of the humour of these characters, pretty much every other joke is toilet based. I’m sure I’ve made this clear before, but I love a good fart gag. Unfortunately all of these have come straight from the recycling plant too. I’m just thankful they persuaded Thandie Newton to be in this movie. At least there was something pretty to watch whilst I slowly died inside.

I’m not sure what shocked me more about this movie when I was doing a little research on it. The fact that it made so much money at the box office, or that it was nominated for an Oscar (best make-up). To be fair, the make up was very good, but being done by legend that is Rick Baker, then that’s not much of a surprise. The box office success though? Are there really that many people out there who are still hoping that one day Eddie Murphy will be funny again and go to each of his movies in the vain hope that this will be the film that he makes a spectacular comeback? If anyone remembers Quantum Leap then you may remember that there was an evil leaper who went around trashing peoples lives as Sam Beckett tried to save others. I’m starting to suspect that they may be responsible for Eddie Murphy still finding an audience.

So now for the big question: At what point in time did Eddie Murphy decide that playing multiple roles in a movie was a good idea? This is something he’s done several times now and I really can’t work out why (OK, so it worked in Bowfinger, but that doesn’t excuse it). Do the studios save money by only hiring one actor? Does he get paid three times? Really, what is the point? I think this is one of the major problems in this movie. Murphy used to be cool, charming and funny, which may have hidden any flaws in his acting, now he seems to have lost these assets you just can’t escape him.

The tagline for this movie was “Have you ever made a big mistake?”, I just can’t help but think that Murphy’s was not to retire from filmmaking in 1990.

#94 Norbit (2007) (Colin)

It's the 1st January 1990 and we say goodbye to the decade fashion forgot. The demolition of the Berlin Wall a few weeks earlier, signalled a warming in relations between East and West and so we say goodbye to the Cold War. Later this year, the introduction of the unpopular Poll Tax leads to violent riots and results in saying goodbye to Margaret Thatcher. We all start making plans for the massive party we shall all have when we say goodbye to her forever. Meanwhile in Hollywood, Eddie Murphy is reading a goodbye letter.......

Eddie,

We both knew that this would not last forever. We have had some great times, fantastic times and we'll always have the 80's. But I've met someone.

I've fallen in love with your humor, (which I spell without a 'U' because I'm American). His sharpness, wit and that funny laugh he does in nearly every movie, makes me feel alive and so we have decided to run away together.

I hope you understand. By the time you read this we will be in our new home with Chris Rock. I'm truly very sorry, but this is goodbye.

Your (no longer)

Career

Fast forward 17 unfunny years later and we come to #94 on our list, Norbit (2007).

I don't think it is an exaggeration to say Eddie Murphy's career is a tale of 2 halves. Brilliant movies and stand up in the 80's, mainstream and bland post 80's. I will freely admit some of my favourite films starred Eddie Murphy. Trading Places, (1983), The Golden Child, (1986), (I say I want the knife) and off course the absolutely brilliant iconic 80's film, Beverley Hills Cop (1984), (get the fun out of here. (Sorry I only saw the edit for TV version)).

The 2nd half, whilst enjoying some commercial success, have been forgettable, mass produced dross. Doctor Doolittle, (1998), (clever title as this sums up the movie) and The Nutty Professor, (1996), are good examples of these. Don't get me wrong, they are not awful, but I find them about as exciting as John Major eating Rivita washed down with water.  Whilst reading a wallpaper samples book.  And all the samples are beige!

There has also been some out and out crap. Movies that did not make our list and believe me the people in charge of creating this list have been sacked.  Which was me. So I shall get my coat.  Before I do though, the films that should have made this list but did not include Vampire in Brooklyn, (1995), (instead of blood sucking, it just sucked) and Pluto Nash, (2002), (I've not heard of it either). Fortunately for me and my recently re-instated self, one did make the list, the very unfunny, Norbit.

The film starts by following Norbit, (Eddie Murphy), as he grows up with his childhood sweetheart, Kate, (Thandie Newton) who both live in an orphanage. Eventually she is adopted and leaves the orphanage and soon after Norbit is also adopted by Mr Wong, (Murphy again). He meets a new girl, Rasputia, (Murphy, yet again!), who he starts a friendship with. They grow up together and she sort of looks after him, however, as she gets older she becomes obnoxious, domineering and overpowering. However, they both still get engaged to each other. One day Kate returns to buy the orphanage, which stirs emotions in Norbit and he realises that he is in love with her. However she is engaged to Deion, (Cuba Gooding Jr), who unknown to Kate, is a con man. And so it's love story between Norbit and Kate and a will they, won't they film, (I should have said this earlier and saved a lot of typing).

So what's the problem with this movie? Quite simply, it's all been done before, and better. Even Murphy donning a load of make up and pretending to be a woman, (make your own gags up here) or playing other characters in the same film is nothing new.

These days if we want crap 'comedy' movies involving boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, then Hollywood will just dust off Owen Wilson, ask him to play that character he plays in every single movie, give him a vague script and kerching! Money in the bank, back home in time for Emmerdale and sherbet dib dabs. Wilson has cornered this already overcrowded market, (Adam Sandler keeps trying to muscle in, bless him), and we certainly don't need anyone else making these kind of films.

The plot and concept are not original and sadly neither are the characters. Norbit himself has been lifted straight from Adam Sandler's Waterboy (1998). He has the same mannerisms, is a little slow and even shares the same voice. I seriously expected Norbit to say, 'that's some high quality H2O'!  Sadly Norbit is never crushed to death by a rampaging American Football team.

Norbit's fiancee, Rasputia is a stereotypically large and extremely loud black woman. She clicks her fingers, shakes her head and the only thing missing is her shouting, 'he ain't all that and a bag of potato chips' every few seconds. The Wayans brothers could successfully sue Murphy as this character has already been used in all their movies and they actually own the copyright.

(Another example of original comedy by Murphy)

The final character Murphy plays is Mr. Wong. Definitely the worst of the bunch and the most outdated stereotypical oriental impression, (Murphy himself can't decide if he's Japanese or Chinese), since Benny Hill's Chinese character in the 70's. Cue replacing R sounds with L sounds and vice versa and there you have Murphy's character and all of his gags. Disgraceful that this crap is still dragged out in the 21st century.

The feeling you get with these characters is that they are rejects from The Nutty Professor. Like Pink Floyd's 'Final Cut' which just featured songs not good enough for 'The Wall'. There's also a little nod to Doctor Dolittle when a dog 'talks' to Norbit. I'm already watching one of your bad films Eddie, I don't need reminding of others.

It's worth noting here that this film was actually nominated for an Oscar.  I shit you not.  The Oscar was for the make up which transformed Murphy into all these 'wacky' characters.  It must have been a very lean year because the make up on 'Bo Selecta' looked way better.  Fortunately it did not win an Oscar, but did win another award which I shall come back to.

(Why don't you see our baby, you minge teasing bastard you?)

Most of the jokes in the movie are around Rasputia or more preciously fat jokes about Rasputia. We've got them all, bed collapsing on impact, getting stuck and objects leaning when sat on. Marvellous! It's like Murphy watched Shallow Hal and thought 'this movie is shite, but I can do shiter'. Off course Jack Black successfully makes a shiter film each year and so has won that battle.

This, then, is a cross between Waterboy, Shallow Hal, The Nutty Professor and Doctor Dolittle. Oh and 'There's Something About Mary' as Kate's boyfriend is a con artist and this part of the story is similar to Matt Dillon's character. I don't think Norbit uses spunk in his hair. Although it does stick up a bit. Anyway, the only difference is Murphy forgot to rip off the 'GOOD' bits from these movies.

So does Norbit get Kate back in the end? Off course he does, it's that predictable. Every gag, plot line or plot 'twist' is as obvious as a man painted bright pink trying to get into a smurf convention.

I tried to think of a word that sums up this film, (other than dross, shite, awful etc ) and I found it, courtesy of dictionary.com:

Cliche: 'a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse.......'

So what award did this movie win?  Well, the movie won 3 Razzies!  For those who do not know, the Golden Raspberry Awards or Razzies are the polar opposite of the Oscars and are awarded to worst parts of movies.  So the joke is on me, not only was this a commercial success, but it also enjoyed a hat trick of awards.  So by way of apology, I shall finish this blog by listing the awards which this film won and which also, I think, completely sum up what is wrong with and who is to blame for this movie.

Worst Actor: Eddie Murphy (Norbit)
Worst Supporting Actress: Eddie Murphy (Rasputia)
Worst Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy (Mr. Wong)

(If you like bad movies then check out the Razzie Awards website at www.razzies.com)