For some reason, probably money, studios in the late 80's / early 90's starting churning out film franchises using eco issues to save the bloody planet. The stupid humpback whale in Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home (1986) or the Cold War and nuclear disarmament in Superman 4, The Quest for Peace, (1987), (which appears later in our list and rightly so) and also, Highlander 2. Their mission to protect earth from the depleting ozone layer! My mission, to save you 1 hour 49 mins of your life by watching it so you don't have to!
Trying to explain the plot is tricky as it has more holes in it than a leaky bucket of polo mints on a golf course, but I'll try. Highlander helps build a shield around earth to protect it from the harmful sun rays, ozone repairs itself, greedy corp don't tell anyone and continue to hold world to ransom to keep the shield, Highlander destroys the shield, I smash the telly up in frustration. This is basic and incomplete as is the movie. Also like the movie I'm going to jump around a bit with the plot to give you the full Highlander 2 experience!
The first thing I don't get is why this immortal person, (or alien in the original version. Seriously wtf?) who becomes mortal decide to go into engineering on a massive scale. How did he get the job?
INTERVIEWER: So Mr MacLoed, we require someone with an engineering background who has experience in grand projects and design and who has an advanced knowledge of physics and electronics. Tell me, what did you do in your last job?
HIGHLANDER: Chop people's heads off!
(Audible squeaky trump sound)
INTERVIEWER: (shaking) When can you start?
Also I don't really understand why he stays and gets old rather than going home and staying immortal. Hang on, only one could return, ah maybe that's it, Katana returned, he couldn't, I would check but that would mean watching it again. Funny, I don't remember Katana returning, but they were exiled together, oh I give up.
Lambert gives an ok performance as Highlander but you can really see he's heart's not in it. You can see he is trying to work out how to fire his agent rather than give any notable performance. He also spends the first 20 minutes sounding like Baron Greenback from Dangermouse. That coupled with Ironside's (not the wheel chaired Perry Mason), passable impression of Optimus Prime, it really is difficult to concentrate on the dialogue. A blessing for all.
Being immortal doesn't mean being a great lover though as Highlanders 20 odd second shagging of only just met 'terrorist' Louise Marcus, demonstrated. Why was this brief bit of nooky in this film? It surely wasn't to pad the movie out. Highlander spends longer buying a drink than lovemaking in the movie! Also he appears to share the same hairdo as Louise, budget's so tight only 1 hairstyle was permitted.
Talking of physics, (I was, look up a few lines at the interview), Katana must have missed out on building the shield gig as he has no concept of physics. The underground train Katana hijacks, which clearly shows doing 800 Mph, smashes through a brick wall with about as much power as Dale Winton shooing a wasp and comes to a stop a few feet later! One of many bad errors, some of which include the blue car which seems to repair itself, a man turning to a dummy when thrown out a window and me watching the movie.
The dummy by the way, (in more ways than one) was David Blake, the nasty corp guy, played by John C. McGinley. And oh my god newbie, can he play any other characters. It's like, ok I'll play like Dr. Cox in Scrubs, d'uh Barbie. That's harsh, I like him. But not in this film Susan.
The only real winner was Sean Connery who raked in $3.5 million for 10 mins on screen. I see why George Lazenby was keen to fill in Sir Sean's shoes once more. Or was that another film?
In summary, a poorly executed hash of a film which you should avoid. When Highlander 3 went into production, the writers and directors decided to write the story completely forgetting that Highlander 2 ever happened. This is sound advice which we should all take.
('He's right, why oh why did we agree to do this movie?')
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